My father, my father Pt 1
Fathers are makers and molders whether we like it or not.
On this day, I remember what was most profound about my father.
He made getting to the zenith of one’s career seem easy. He graduated university at the age of 20, a record I couldn't best. He became the Registrar of Obafemi Awolowo University in record time - most get there close to retirement, he got there at a relatively young age and worked for another 10 years after his tenure as registrar.
He taught me integrity - the registrar is the No. 4 position in a university after the Vice Chancellor and Deputy Vice Chancellors. Comes with all the perks and balances. In a country like Nigeria, it would be reasonably assumed that anyone in such a position would seek to use it to benefit benefit their own. Not my dad. I ran a digital service business from design, software development, to enterprise web hosting - all services that Obafemi Awolowo University utilizes and my firm was well qualified for having done work for First Bank, Ekiti State Government et al. I got zero contracts or support from my father. To be honest, I wasn't happy and did not understand it. I would later learn that this was very deliberate - he did not want any of such to be a stain on my reputation as an entrepreneur nor on his own career.
His oratorial skills is one I would continue to strive towards, he is a natural and does not need ChatGPT to clean up. He would write up his speeches or sermons, and whenever he thought he'd thrown in a good punchline, he would proudly show it to me and laugh loud saying "won ma gba" meaning "the audience is in for something". I learnt writing and speaking is not useful except it's effective.
No matter how hard I try, I can never be as generous as my father. At least in relative terms. I cannot count how many people's school fees or rent was paid by my Dad. Nor do the number of people he helped to become landlords by motivating them hard to buy land, and helping supervise the construction of those homes including putting his own money - loans that would never be paid back. He gives, gives and gives to people that have no hope of repaying him back.
For the record, the pragmatic me cannot mentally reconcile how someone would not love the idea of entrepreneurship yet give so much with reckless abandon. But what do I know? I can't be more pragmatic than God. My father's never been broke. In some magical transmutation of grace, I've never been despite all the risks I take. Talk about a living proof of "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over" - Luke 6:38
I'd never forget my Father's stoic view on war - all wars are caused by personal egos and grievances, and not the big political issues they make it out to be. In Nigeria it gets worse (the spouse influencer, who was called first at an event, not acknowledging someone properly the way they want to be addressed).
This is perhaps the biggest influence he's had on shaping my character - Don't let big egos and heads get in the way. Crush them (just kidding, he didn’t say to crush).
Happy Father's Day.